Student Fights and Aggression Detection

My favorite sport is, and will always be, the fights that occur periodically with our underclassmen. Anyone who is anyone has seen the videos, reminiscent of gladiatorial combat at its finest. The crowd is packed, the blood-thirst tangible. All around our students hang from the sides of stalls, like monkeys in a barrel, ready and waiting. The prized champions, these inscrutable, scrawny delinquents of the highest order, allow lackeys to disrobe them of backpacks before the brawl. 

They become a facsimile of Mortal Kombat, bobbing with youthful fury before that final moment of impulse. No one knows what force propels them forward at that exact moment where peace gives way to the tussle of lion cubs.

But once the fight does begin, it ends rather quickly. Every teacher within a one-hundred-mile radius tilts their shark-like head, sensing blood in the toilet water. They strike fast and without mercy, breaking up the fray. In their trample, students quickly tuck away several phones, ending a variety of indie amateur Fight Club remakes.

To the administrators, I plead mercy for acquiring access to these videos. In my defense, it was for journalistic purposes! Definitely for journalistic purposes.

On the other hand, could you blame me for ulterior motives? The apathetic instincts are doubled, perhaps even tripled, in the hormones of our kind. Base cruelties are positively delicious around our corneas,  and we scroll back for the best parts as we gather in group parties to watch. It’s a wonder no one’s taken advantage of this addiction. Yet, that is.

Sitting down with a table of friends I say, “I’ve got a bright idea!” 

What is it? They say.

“I’ll become a bookie. If these underclassmen are gonna fight, might as well make some money! All you gotta do is get 'em to place bets, then you guard the bathroom entrance and make everyone pay to watch. A front-row seat is ten, and if they want the video, it’s five. You bribe the teachers to keep hush, it’d be such an added income it could rival their current salary.”

How much do you think you’d make? They ask with a laugh.

“Enough to pay me through college.”

We grin as co-conspirators, imagining our lives of luxury harnessed from the blood of the unruly youth. It was a beautiful dream, taking candy from underclassmen babies. But alas, it was not meant to be.

By district mandate, Montgomery County Schools now have compact, boxy, near indestructible vape detectors installed in every bathroom. And that’s not all; the software within these magical devices detects more than just chemical shifts. It detects potential fights, utilizing decibel levels to create ‘a holistic approach to safety,’ as the website claims. 

Zeptive’s optional noise sensors and crowd detection take(s) monitoring to the next level, providing a broader perspective in spaces prone to vaping activity. These features are particularly useful in high-risk areas such as school bathrooms, locker rooms, and other private spaces where vaping is harder to detect. By combining vape detection with crowd and sound monitoring, Zeptive ensures no incident goes unnoticed.

In other words, the percentage chance of you emerging from a fight and not getting caught has just lowered to 0%. In other words, my entrepreneurial spirit has just dropped to 0%.

“We can now run in there at a quicker rate. A lot of times we didn’t know about it, but now we’ll get an alert,” says Mrs. Powers, assistant principal, as she scans the lunchroom like a hawk, “It’s alerting our phones, so we know exactly where to go. It makes sure our bathrooms are used for bathroom use, instead of for vaping or fighting or all the other things it’s become.”

As we talk, she prompts me not to call it ‘fight detection’.

“I would more of call it ‘noise detection’. It’s alerting us about escalated voices. I think it’s been picking up the morning announcements,” She chuckles to herself, “The vape detectors are connected to the cameras and it’s right on our phones, and then it gives us an alert as administrators. So if I’m on my phone, that’s why. But I’ll try to be a good role model.”

And so, it seems our adolescent ecosystem is changing, our food chain upending itself in unpredictable ways with unpredictable consequences. It becomes an interesting narrative, filled with the vibrant, beatific boldness of the young. Will they be bruised and battered by their overwhelming confidence, or will they continue to be beaten by their misplaced rage? Will they learn consequences sooner in this life, from the eye of a bathroom box, or later, from the watchful eye of the law? Only they can decide what force of juvenile motivation will drive them into that elusive future we call life after high school. And I for one will watch with that addictive, apathetic, cruel instinct of pure teenage enjoyment.

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Written by Thomas Repass